Misleading

Headlines like "Internet Communities: make Modi the Next PM" make it seem as if a large survey was conducted to reach to this conclusion. But what was the story actually about? A poll in an orkut community in which 365 people participated. Newsworthy... Not.

P.S. I have an idea. Why not gang up and form a poll on who should be the next president of India. We can rig it and make sure that Cthulhu emerges as the overwhelming favourite. Now that's newsworthy. Amit will be proud.

Not Alone

Moral policing in India incites emotions ranging from bewilderment to disgust. At times, even jealousy at the relative freedom that the citizens of the west enjoy. No more. Proof that human insanity is distributed equally all over the globe:

Atlanta considers banning baggy pants: Convinced that sagging pants are an "epidemic" that is becoming a "major concern" around the country, city councilman C.T. Martin has sponsored this rather absurd legislation. Apart from boxer shorts and thongs, bra straps will probably be banned too. Violation ofany of these laws will result in strict fines. Apparently they are not the first to think up something like this:

Earlier this year, the town council in Delcambre, La., passed an ordinance that carries a fine of up to $500 or six months in jail for exposing underwear in public. Several other municipalities and parish governments in Louisiana have enacted similar laws in recent months.

Feel free to sell guns, but dildos? Never.: Blowing up people's heads may be a pretty reasonable thing to do, but a blowjob? Good God No.

And its not just evil dirty dildos that these paternalistic lawmakers have saved the state from, they have banned casinos, lotteries and betting parlours too. Utopia, no?

(Stories via digg)

The Secret To Longevity

Camlin permanent markers are the secret to a long life. Applicable only if you are the husband. Brilliant.

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Touch Me Not

On the 15th, Anwar Jahan Zuberi, VC of Calicut University, hoisted the national flag at the University Administrative Block. But something was amiss: the tri colour was the wrong way up. This error can result in two scenarios:

1. Fiction: An embarrassed  VC orders the flag to be hoisted as it should be. Followed by a little apology to all present for the goof up. The end.
2. Reality: The mistake is noted, the corrections are made. The end? Not so. The members of the Kerala Students Union see an opportunity to add a political twist to the proceedings. A complaint is promptly registered and the police file a case against the authorities under the absurd Prevention of Insult to National Honour Act. Not to be outdone, the Muslim Youth league shoots of a letter to the Governor demanding action against the University Registrar.
   

Another opportunity to practice our very own desi brand of patriotism. As matters of real importance very rarely penetrate the formidable walls of our collective apathy, we assuage our consciences by protecting and nurturing meaningless symbols and irrelevant customs. Why? Because they conveniently allow us to pretend to do something while doing nothing.

(Source: Hindustan Times)

The Injustice Of It All

Scott Adams points to an article which takes a new step forward in stating the obvious:
The smarter you are the less chicks you get to lay.

The more i think about it, what troubles me is not the lack of opportunities for born geniuses like me; what gets to my nerves is the relative lack of trouble that smarter women face. True, for getting the man of their dreams they may have to work on that hour glass figure or have plans to get rid of those braces. But for pure unadulterated sex they just need lower their standards. Men will swarm to them.

Sigh. The injustice of it all. Why oh why do they get to choose? Just because we have more numbers and hence they become a scarce commodity? If the answer is yes, then Babu Bajrangi and me may have a common cause now.